Being a Beginner - Why it's ok to not know it all.
Nowadays the world is pretty much our oyster. The stack of
opportunities available to us starting out our adult lives are hard to ignore.
We can feel like we’ve got to get out there, see the world and maximize our
potential, or else we’re missing out.
All sorts of suggestions filter into our lives, whether it's
encouragement to try new things, broaden our horizons or get as far away from our
comfort zones as we can, it all adds up to the same message. In theory sure
that's exciting and fantastic, but in reality for a lot of us, taking on
something new is actually a significantly frightening thought.
As an impatient perfectionist, I've found in my own life that
allowing myself to be a beginner has been quite a learning curve. I love the
idea of trying new things and diving straight in, but then I'd also kind of
prefer to be proficient at everything.. like yesterday at the latest...
Being a beginner means accepting that I don't know it all,
asking for help when I need it and realizing that making mistakes is part of
the process. None of which were exactly my favourite things to do.
But quite often when that feeling of discomfort comes up for me
I know there must be something to be learnt.
Allowing myself to just be a beginner was it; embracing the
vulnerability of having to learn, to be imperfect and maybe occasionally (/frequently)
look a little less than competent.
But here's why I'd recommend it,
1. Respect the Journey.
In everything we undertake, there's nowhere to start but the
beginning. Regardless of our aptitude, we'll always need to get the know-how
from somewhere.
When we let ourselves be a beginner, we put the value on
progression instead of instant perfection. We get to practice patience with
ourselves, see each small success as an achievement and take serious pride when
we're no longer novices.
Of course it'd be easy to be an immediate pro but then you miss
out on the journey and all the firsts along the way. Accepting beginner status
enables us to really appreciate the process, and make success even sweeter.
2. Solid Foundations.
Embracing the learning phase creates strong foundations for
future success. I've no doubt we've all had moments of cramming quickly
followed by forgetting when the pressure is off or ticking the boxes and then throwing out the list.
In any language, sport, or hobby, we start with the basics for a
reason. We're not above them, we can't skip them and trying to do so will give
us fairly shaky foundations.
Recovery is the exact same, we need to learn and relearn, practice and keep practicing until our fundamental knowledge is cemented. It's worth acknowledging
that the beginner stage is crucial to solidify our starting point. From there
of course we can catapult into kicking butt, but it'll be from a strong
substantial start.
3. Asking for help.
This one takes getting used to. I personally was really
reluctant to ask for help and would just suffer in silence trying to figure it
all out for myself. As you might guess, this was never helpful!
Asking for help is a vulnerable thing, but it's also a necessary
one. As beginners, we need to use any resources we can get hold of to help
ourselves improve; even if it's embarrassing or intimidating, that's how we'll
learn.
When we show a willingness to learn, people are generally very
willing to help. Ok we'll have to admit that we're new to this, but there's
nothing wrong with that.
In a new job, learning to drive or whatever we begin we need to
remember that if we've never done it before, obviously we don't know how to do
it yet. That’s why L plates, lessons and training exist!
4. Let go of expectations.
I think one of my main barriers to embracing beginner status was
worrying about what others might think of me. Like as though I 'should' just be
able to do everything and to fall short would be a disappointment.
But that attitude would put anyone off ever trying anything new.
When we can be a beginner, the only expectations we need are those that we'd
have for any other beginner. There will be mistakes, there will be nerves and
that's ok, because that is to be expected.
Knowing our capabilities and expecting perfection are quite
different so we need to adjust accordingly.
From my own experience, these learnings have helped me in
various areas of my life. Whether it’s my recovery, new hobbies, or my
job it gives me a chance to go easier myself and shake the shackles of perfectionism.
I know now that the only way I can embrace new ventures fully is
to be a beginner; to ask for help, practice consistently to get solid
foundations, let go of what I and others might think of my ability and respect
my own starting point.
Now when I try new things I can enjoy my progression and take on advice with an open
mind, because I know I'm not advanced yet. I'm only just beginning and that's
absolutely okay.
In anything we do we can't avoid being a beginner, but we can
choose whether we embrace it or try avoid it.
Why not choose to make the most of this time, learn as much as we can and put our potential to its best use?
Yeah love it. We put so much pressure on ourselves to be somebody or be something or know what we want when really if we just give ourselves a bit of time, a bit of growing room then life could actually be enjoyed instead of endured.
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