Dare To Live

I was thinking last Sunday about how meaningless everything used to seem to me. Now that I know life is made up of lots of important, meaningful interactions, occurrences, failures, achievements and lessons, it is a challenge to remember exactly what I couldn't see in the past. But, quite simply, I could see nothing. I explained away any trace of what could be called meaning from any activity put before me, whether it was a big occasion or an everyday task. I became quite skilled at this. It didn't matter whether or not I went for a walk, for example. I could go or not. One walk wasn't going to make that much difference to my fitness level or muscle tone. No one who might see me on the road would have their lives changed even an iota by meeting me en route to wherever they were heading. My breathing wouldn't be changed significantly by half an hour of fresh air and my vitamin D levels couldn't possibly be affected either to any great extent. So I didn't go.

I am who I am, and who I am needs no excuses!!   Recently I have been challenged with many things, health, depression, changes in lifestyle and with that someone has asked who are you.   What makes you, you.   To this I have answered I Don’t Know, I have no idea who I am.   While discussing this with a loved one she asked me what my values are, surely they are what makes you, you! I have always defined myself by my status in life, as in I am a wife, mother, daughter, niece, sister in law etc. I work at, whatever, before marriage, I was an athlete, I was one of eight children,   I was one of the xxxx family. People never really knowing which one of the family I was. With my recent health issues, I have gotten totally bogged down.    I have tried to continue doing what I would normally do, at the same pace and with the same expectations, but my body has been letting me down. Or has it?   Maybe this is my body trying to tell me to stop, change, adapt and adopt new ways…..

At a recent meeting of Dare to Live SOS a member brought up Andres Lubitz and the perceived justification of his killing 150 people because he was suicidal. It was agreed at the meeting that we would write an article on the blog and get people talking about it. I initially agreed with the concept and later agreed to write the article, but have subsequently re thought the whole subject. In the original article I was quite controversial and posed the question – Are his actions excusable because he was suicidal or is he guilty of mass murder?   I likened him to the many suicide bombers who have deliberately taken not only their own lives but those of many innocent people.   I suggested that he is as guilty of mass murder as these suicide bombers.   But then our blog is about promoting hope, it’s about promoting recovery and it’s about promoting survival over suicide . As a group we do not believe that suicide is an excuse and nor is it the only answer.   We believe that t