Thursday, 16 April 2015

Does our past define us?

Have you ever suffered from Depression, An Eating Disorder, Alcohol or drug addiction or, Been subjected to Emotional abuse, Sexual abuse, Physical abuse or even a traumatic experience of any kind?

Many people from all walks of life have suffered at the hands of one or maybe a few of the above turmoils and as a result, feel like damaged goods in the aftermath.  

But do any of our past experiences have to define us? 
Does it have to leave a permanent negative scar on you? 
Can you change your life after these things and make a full recovery away from distress?

When you think of these challenges - do you think it defines you or could it actually enhance who you are today?
Does it give you an excuse to stay stuck or does it give you not only a solid reason but a solid grounding to want to change?

For a long time I saw my past as a shameful negative experience. I saw it as an experience that left me very vulnerable, very sensitive, very insecure and with very low self confidence, yet I survived it.  
Yet I am still here and not only that but I have grown as a result of those experiences. 
I have had an education that I wouldn't wish on others, but which I can now choose to use to the good.

Most of us in the world have had some crises in our life, but we have two choices
1.                  we can live in the past and dwell on it and let it bring us down or
2.                  we can use our experience to help us to grow, to help others and to become a better person.

When a person has been through any of the above traumas or even faced any of life's challenges and recovered from them surely it has given you the chance to change as a person.  

Surely now you can

-  Have true compassion for others
-  Have empathy for others
-  See two sides of a situation

Surely you are now more

-  Sensitive & Understanding
-   Vulnerable
-  And you're unquestionably, a survivor!

While most people don’t necessarily sit under their experience, it can have a lasting negative effect on you if you let it. I know from experience that when conversations or situations turned to experiences that I‘d had it made me feel uncomfortable, it saddened me, and eventually it brought me down for a period of time again! I felt too ashamed of it to talk about it or too uncomfortable to use my experience as a help and support for others.

So how about trying to remedy this? How about the next time these situations rear their ugly heads you try looking at the positives of the situation?

Look at how as a result of the negative experience you've been through, you as a person can be different.
As a wise owl said to me once “learn to read your history differently”.

I have been through a few of the stresses mentioned above and because of them
-  I am a survivor
-  I am a communicator
-  I am compassionate
-  I can empathise
-  I can give affection
-  I can verbalise affection
-  I can be the change I want to be.
-  I can be impartial
-  I can be there for others when they need it.
-  I have first hand knowledge and experience, so I know…!

How can you change your outlook?
How can you re-write your history?
How can you move on?

The choice is yours!!












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