For the 50 - Somethings

You can't teach an old dog new tricks?

Really, whoever decided this? Life is for living and that means living until the day you die.

I have grown up with a few phobias, one of which was a massive fear of dogs and the other was being claustrophobic. But recently, I went away and packed a different mindset to the normal one.

This time, I decided that I wanted to achieve something outside my comfort zone. I wanted new things and new experiences in my life. I wanted to be a participator instead of a spectator. I, as in the real me, wanted to make changes in my normally responsible, safe yet half-living life.

The people I was staying with have two dogs, one is a boxer cross pit bull breed and the other is a huntaway cross collie breed. To say that this was a daunting prospect would be an understatement as I was cornered by two boxer dogs as a child. They cornered me between a pillar and a wall and snarled, barked and threatened me. So, what do I do - stay in a costly hotel or stay with these people? The old me was temped to stay in a hotel, but I also knew that that was not going to happen.

So I decided with my new found courage and new found thirst for change that I would get to know these dogs and get comfortable around them, and actually did so within a half hour of arriving there! By the time I was leaving the boxer/pitbull and I were best buddies and even snuggled up on the couch together!

The other fear I had to conquer was the claustrophobia, and this was also the one thing that was going to push me way outside my comfort zone because, I really wanted to participate in an event and not just be a spectator.

I needed to be able to wear a snorkel and mask as I was going swimming with wild dusky dolphins. I needed to not panic, I needed to trust in myself and I also needed to trust in a wild mammal!  I was not going to be in control, this was unpredictable and this was way outside of my comfort zone.

Not only did I overcome my fear, step outside my comfort zone and make changes at this stage of my life.  But I also experienced something so humbling that it will stay with me for many years to come.  I went into unknown territory, the territory of the dolphin who engaged with us, who trusted us and who did not judge us. They swam beside us, above us and around us, never touching but right beside us. It was a truly beautiful experience.

So to everyone in the 50 somethings or whatever age group you come into, change is always possible.  Don’t just settle with your lot, whatever that may be.

Step outside your comfort zone, make new memories, and don’t let life drag you down.  

It's easy to just drift in life and settle for what you have been used to but believe me there is so much more out there.  The sky really is the limit.

Be the change you want to see!!!!

The Mask

I met the Mask when I was just 17 years old. I fell in love with it. It told me that it would protect me and look after me for all my life.

Well as the years unfold in our lives yes, it did protect me from life - my own life that is. Once I lived by it’s rules and conditions my life was being driven by the mask rules.

It told me how to dress, what to drink, how to behave, whom my friends should be, where I should work. Sometimes I was bold enough to challenge the mask’s rules. From time to time, I did escape with friends and family but once I returned home the Mask would be waiting with it’s words of anything but kindness.

Roll on 35 years and something happened in my life to make me STOP and see that the Mask was actually not a nice mask at all – it served no protection. It merely blinded and misguided me.

I decided to take off the Mask and look at the world without it.  And guess what?

I like what I see.

I am a strong person who can live life without the Mask - without it’s rules, regulations, control and conditions.

I have taken off the mask and am slowly (but surely) pealing away the glue that stuck the mask on. Life has sunshine, laughter, lightness, happiness, fun, freedom, kindness… all the things I value in life.

So I say to anybody who has a mask stuck to their face;

take it off.

Look at the world without it. You might be pleasantly surprised that you like the world of freedom and more importantly, that the world likes you without the Mask.

Be brave, be courageous - make today your day in your own life.

What is Happiness for you?

There’s times in life where we can feel like happiness is a bit of an abstract concept. It’s out there somewhere, maybe we even think it’s only out there for everyone else, and sometimes it can feel just plain unattainable in our own lives. It can feel like there’s a lot of terms and conditions we have to fulfil first in order to get a slice of it.

When you’re in a negative mind-set especially, it can feel like happiness just isn’t on the cards at all. Negative thinking steals away the potential for happiness by blinding us to the abundance of it that’s actually already in our lives.

More often than not there’s happiness to be found all around us, but if our eyes aren’t open to it of course we won’t be able to see it. Nothing external actually needs to change, there doesn’t need to be a huge shift in our lives, we just need to look differently at our worlds and seek out the joy.

When you find that contentedness inside, it’s funny the things that actually create it. For me anyway, it’s not huge things that I need to get it. It’s just the simple little things. It might be a moment, a message, an experience, music, stories, sunshine – the list is endless and I’m always excited to add to it and surround myself with more of life’s little joys.

Life isn’t always going to be rosy and like a perfect scene out of a film, it has its ups and downs but there’s always a choice to look for ups when we’re feeling the downs and that’s where we might need a little practice.

So it’s time to do a bit of discovery and find out what makes us smile. Get curious and look for the positive in all avenues of life. Maybe in work, a coffee break can bring a little lift. Maybe it’s the beautiful sunshine out the window or going for a walk in it, or someone saying hello. Happiness bubbles up in people for so many different reasons and it can change all the time too.

When you know what makes you happy, it just makes sense to tap into those things when your ‘happy’ supply is low, it can turn the circumstances around and really helps re-energize us.

It could be helpful to look at what makes others happy and explore new ideas or places to see what could bring us bliss too. I love finding out what makes other people happy and how they incorporate those things into their lives.

There’s so much to be gained from doing the things that make us happy and immersing ourselves in our own happy places. So why not start now? :)

God?

Hello. Welcome. It's great that you're reading this. Well done for logging on. You could choose not to but you chose to come here. Go you.

I believe I am here because a power greater than I supported me and helped me when I did not know how to help myself.

It may be considered politically incorrect to post about God, but I don't know of any faith system whose God is bound by human laws, so I will go ahead and type. It may help someone and that is the whole point of this blog. 

I really feel that it is so important for everyone, whatever your walk of life, whatever your background, whatever your current state of mind, to contemplate what you believe in and trust as your personal faith. 

Some people pray; some express themselves through dance or song and find connection with  higher power in this way; some people believe in angels and ask them for guidance. Some people invest trust in traditions with which they were brought up; others find meaning in the very questioning of those traditions. 

Many people combine some of the above; many change opinions and beliefs as life's experiences move them in different directions. The point is this: That which I've listed here, and the innumerable other faith systems and ways of thinking it is possible to have, are all brilliant; equally so. 

Do you know why? Because they bring comfort, solace, direction and a sense of being grounded. These are invaluable, especially when one is caught up in loneliness, emptiness, depression, anxiety or any form of emotional distress.

The following is a poem I wrote several years ago, when I had begun to have more confidence in my beliefs than I'd previously had. Whatever your beliefs, I encourage you to look at how important they are to you and to begin to invest in that which you hold as your faith. Faith is, and always will be, so personal to you that no one will ever be able to shake it.

My God (14/07/’10)

Not the words on the page,

But the meaning they have when I read;

Not the stem or the leaves,

But the fact the plant grew from a seed;

Not the notes that are played,

But the tune, as it flows in my soul;

Not the boot or the ball,

No. The roar of the crowd at the goal.

Not the jasmine that burns,

But the scent that it leaves in my room;

Less the ultrasound scan

Than the beat that is heard from the womb;

Not the tea in the cup,

But the drinking, content being alone;

Neither mortar nor tiles,

No. Security; this place, my home.

Not the clown in the ring,

But the laughter that sings from the child;

Not the wind, not the rain,

But the feel of the storm, hot and wild;

Neither pupils, nor teachers,

The spirit of learning as one;

Not qualifications,

No. Pride; a career just begun.

Not the ticket or plane,

But escape from the norm to the new;

Not the self-help advice;

Rather, knowing what you knew you knew;

Neither pillow nor blanket,

But comfort in aches now relieved;

Neither candles nor altar,

No. A power in which I believe.

Inspiration - Stop 'Liking' it, start living it

Inspiration is sort of everywhere isn’t it? When we’re actively looking for it, it declares itself into various avenues of our lives. Taking a trip to a gig, setting your sights on a painting, or losing yourself in someone’s writing can provide inspiration beyond measure. Countless places in our lives are the birthplace of inspiration, the place where we look at the work of another and refuel our own passion, the itch of creativity tickling our minds.

But nowadays right at our fingertips, it seems there’s more available than ever. Without having to even get up and go anywhere, we can dive into a world of inspired minds and creators. People doing what we want to do, people who are following their dreams, people who have overcome a serious struggle.

It just takes one look across our extensive world of social media, with a quick search for #inspiration numerous results willingly greet our hungry eyes. There’s blogs, quotes, pictures, talks, and videos not to mention the array of articles that would appeal to the aspirational appetite in each of us. And we seek this inspiration constantly.

Any social media platform with an option to search can show the significant sum of interest in inspiring ideas. We engage in these searches, we ‘like’ or ‘favourite’ those that strike a chord and if they ignite that inspired inferno in our belly, they might even get a retweet.

It’s great that there’s so much out there, it’s great that there’s so many words or images that can make us feel something and allow us see our lives in a different light. I know that from my own experience of challenging times, I’d be quick to hit up Instagram to inspire positivity or follow someone on twitter who could motivate me to find a spark of hope in my life.

But how often does our search for inspiration push us to actually leading inspired lives. The click of a button is short lived so is our inspiration just as fleeting? If we were to live all the ideas we ‘liked’, where could it get us?

I love getting inspired, I love reading something and then for the following week having ideas bouncing against the walls of my mind or seeing something that brings me to my feet with renewed energy. But that needs to be followed by the action of writing or moving and so it goes with any inspired thought – we need to act on them.

With an incredible influx of inspiration flowing into our brains all the time, we’ve got to grab hold of some before they flow straight back out. After idly drifting through Instragram posts hashtagged with the promise of inspiration for the umpteenth time, I realised I actually want to implement some of these into my own life.

So how can we bridge the gap between finding inspiration and living an inspired life?

Choose one – Among the litany of possibilities out there, pick just one source of inspiration that really resonates with you. Something that speaks to you personally, awakens your passion and makes sense with where you would like to be.

For me, one of the first I picked was a quote, ‘Be the change you wish to see in the world’. It inspired me to make my actions match what I want to see, what I want to promote and what I consider important. It doesn’t have to be in grandiose, ground-breaking ways but even just trying to incorporate ideas of value into the day-to-day, every day.

There have been plenty of others I’ve set my mind on too from music to movement to poetry, but I found it easiest to focus solely on one at a time and commit to applying it.

Live by it – Make it a mantra; a thought so prominent in the forefront of your mind that it spills out into your voice and actions persistently. Make sure to remember why it evoked something in you and apply it as often as you can.

Paint, write, and move to the soundtrack of your inspired mind. Keep tapping into it to refuel your motivation and keep you on track in the direction of your ambition. Imagine what you could do if you acted on what inspires you every single day.

That image doesn’t need to stay confined to the imagination.

Share it – What you create when you’re bursting with inspired ideas is always worth spreading. It’s full of substance, energy and your very own potential amplified. Quite often the ideas that have kicked you into gear are the same ones that you’ll instil in others when you translate inspiration into your way of life.

Sometimes even just by you living a life founded on inspiration causes a ripple effect into the eyes of others. Keep at it, keep living it and keep seeking it in the world around you.

So let’s get our asses up from the spectator seat of observing inspiration and immerse ourselves into our very own inspired lives.

One Little Step at a Time

It would be hard to deny that we’re active thinkers. Our minds can race around on overdrive exhausting all possibilities, exacerbating many a problem and evoking anxiety from just about anywhere. It has a pretty hectic schedule; but this isn’t necessarily a bad feature, because, while it could have its sights set on the above, it could also be on overdrive dreaming, creating or affirming positivity.  

Like everything in life - it’s what we make of it.

I hadn’t realised the power of my mind until I started working on myself. I knew it could memorise things and figure stuff out, you know everyday normal stuff. But I hadn’t given it credit for the impact it had on my feelings and behaviours. Actually not just really impact so much as absolute creation of them.

It wasn’t medication or some magic operation on my mind that changed my self destruction, panic attacks or behaviours. It was changing my thinking.

This came into my mind yesterday because I had a decision to make. I know from past experience that given half a chance, my mind can easily inform me of every excuse under the sun to avoid something. It can take the original option that I had initially wanted and turn that into the least desirable thing I could think of. I also know that it works both ways so I can take control and make the choices I know I truly want, even if I might be hesitant.

So yesterday I became very aware of the fact that my tiredness gave way to the thoughts that were opting to just leave it, to go home and put it off to another time. And I knew that if I played that particular tape out – I would wish that I had of just done it.

I knew I wanted to go, though with a bit of fear in my head, it made it more easy to sway me towards the comforts of home and essentially giving in to that nervousness. And that result didn’t really fly with me so I took action and broke it down.

Instead of magnifying the reasons why not to go and how it’s a big deal that I can’t handle right now, I made it into baby steps.

I’m just going to get my snack now so I’ll have had it before the class in case I go...

I’ll just get my Luas ticket so that if I decide to go, I’ll be ready.

I’ll just see when the next Luas is… I’ll just wait for it… I’ll just go and see if I can find the place..

I’ll just go and have a look inside.

I’ll just get changed so I’m ready..

And finally Ok I’ll just do it. And after that, I'm so glad I did it :-) 

It might seem a bit ridiculous from the outset, but for me in the past and even evidently now, I find it can be helpful to just take things one at a time, relieve the pressure and give myself a chance. It's also harder to dispute the little things because on their own they appear to make little impact but when added together they can culminate into something really enjoyable and energising.

Personal Poetry

I've frequently turned to poetry throughout my journey, as I've found it to be an effective way I could express freely and untangle the confused mess of thinking in my head. Quite often they were pretty stormy poems about the struggle I was feeling but identifying that struggle helped me to overcome it.

So more recently, I returned to writing poems but with a completely different mindset and initially I nearly felt unable to write unless I had some dramatic difficulty going on. It was like using an old tool in a new way. But I still love words and using them to create, so I got familiar with using them differently and here's one of the results - my personal journey in poem form; 

Well it’s been a journey, I’m not going to lie,

You don’t just wake up one day not wanting to die.

I shuffled to therapist rooms one through four,

Each time ending with me walking out the door,

Collecting diagnoses and Prozac to numb the depression,

Weighed down with questions from each exhausting session,

Exploring the reasons, the whys and the wherefores,

A shell of myself walking in and out of the doors.

Little steps forward, mirrored by all the steps back,

I still didn’t know how to cut myself any slack,

I could drown out my feelings with food or drink,

I could cause myself harm and try not to think,

Cos it was my thoughts that cut through me most,

Physical pain distracted but for my mind I was the host,

For its parasitic negative chatter, that never ceased to batter

Any inch of worth I had within, it screamed at me, a constant din

Of insults I wouldn’t utter to anyone, I isolated so I was the only one

Who had to put up with this worthless, waste of space

That I knew myself to be, it seemed to really be the case,

I beat myself to a point of not knowing nor caring who I am,

I didn’t venture out, life couldn’t make me give a damn,

You know what it’s like to have no sense of self?

Punishing my body to the point of damaging my health.

Nothing really mattered I just wanted to get by,

And if I couldn’t do that, I wanted to die.

Not impressed with number five, my quest kept on,

Seeking that answer to get all this sh*t to be gone,

I landed at the last door, door number six,

My final big effort hoping something would stick

Hoping I could figure out how to live this life,

Without hating myself; my doubts were rife.

What could they say that I hadn’t already heard?

Is this going to be the place with the magic word?

Sorry to spoil it, but there’s no magic here,

There’s no enchanted wand to disband all the fear,

There is hope though, and that kinda trumps it all,

It whispers initially, keeping it small,

But its volume gradually increased in my ear,

So that the negativity is just not what I hear,

And it’s not like it suddenly just became clear,

It’s been a bumpy road and I’ve shed many a tear,

But the need to hurt myself is both distant and strange,

And that’s not the only thing that started to change,

I know who I am now and that’s been the catalyst,

To realise that life is not something I want to miss,

I want to be involved, I want to be significant,

I don’t just want to be an unwilling participant.

And it's happening, I’m unravelling bit by bit,

Discarding the conditions to which I used to submit

I am creating a life that I’m excited to live,

Finding out what I actually have to give,

My life is fuelled by passion and dreams,

I know where I want to work towards being,

I have a voice I never had before, I want to use it more and more,

Silence and being invisible is a goal of the past,

But this isn’t fleeting, these learnings will last,

They’ve taken me from out of my room to out my door,

To being able to do my job, to starting to explore,

Hobbies and interests and sources of fun,

That don’t ignite anxiety cos that chapter is done.

I’ve learnt so much from my journey thus far,

And anyone can do the same, regardless who you are,

If I could flick the switch from destructing to creating,

If could stop myself from the constant berating,

From inflating the negative and relentlessly hating

Myself my mind and body, always waiting,

For the next crash, the next moment of despair,

The next confirmation that I was a waste of air,

If I could let all that go, then I promise, anyone can too,

But it’s not enough to say it, it comes from what you do.

Reality Check

Welcome to this blog post.
That sounds a bit silly, but I mean it from the bottom of my heart. You are so welcome because if you are reading this, then you are a survivor. You have chosen to be here, rather than to go away. You have decided to acknowledge whatever demons or challenges that may have held you back up to this point, and to do something about them. You may not even be sure yet what that 'something' is, but you are not going to do nothing.
This makes you a hero and I extend a warm welcome to you to this blog. You are our kind of person.

Today, I learned that a local mother of three has taken her own life. I don't know this lady. I barely know her children and it was a very upset friend of mine, who knows the family, who told me this evening this awful news.
I kept thinking, as I drove home in my car, of the colossal loss this poor woman's death means for the community. I cannot begin to imagine how her children and her husband feel...it is so huge a tragedy that I literally cannot fathom it from their perspective. However, what I was able to consider was the finality of the method this lady chose to put an end to her sadness and the tremendous waste of a life of which this is an example. I just thought: If only she had held on, even in the absence of any belief that there would be any improvement in her state of mind. If only she had just not taken the actions which led to her death.

It takes more patience than the word can even conjure to hold on, when one is in that dark, dark place. I know this because I have been there. But I held on. I did not act. This is the best example of inaction imaginable.
I am here, typing this, for someone...maybe only one person, but someone...to read. Maybe you feel a little more hopeful for reading it. Maybe no one will ever read it. But if I had acted on my feelings years ago, I would have removed all possibility of ever sitting here, creating the chance that I might help someone.

Suicide can seem like the best option when we are faced with problems that seem bigger than any solution of which we can think. But it is the worst possible option. It is the worst action ever. You have not resorted to that. You have chosen life, up to now. I hope so strongly that I cannot put it into words that you continue to choose life over the alternative.

Just hold on. There is light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can't see it. It is there, it may be visible just around the next corner. Hold on and see if I'm right. Don;t go anywhere. You are too precious. One day, you will realise what a hero you are, just for staying here.

Thank you so much for reading this.
Thank you for being here, to read it.
Love.xx

Self Injury Awareness Day- March 1st 2015

March 1st  2015 was Self Injury Awareness Day; another awareness day.

I'd just like to point out that these awareness days (following the recent Eating Disorder awareness week) are often quite toxic, largely misinforming, and inversely worsen stereotyping & 'awareness'.

The nature of these distresses/illnesses/disorders are that they are competitive in a perverse way. The person rarely feels 'sick enough' or that it's 'bad enough'. And thanks to efforts to "increase awareness" it seems there's no shortage of people to compare to.

Social media is littered with photos of people's injuries and their scars. This DOES NOT raise awareness in my opinion. All this does is worsen stereotyping. All this does is worsen comparing and misinform the public.

I think we need to focus on raising awareness that recovery is possible for everyone!

Self injury, also know as self harm or deliberate self harm, is very often cloaked in shame. But I really want to stress that it is nothing to be ashamed of. It's a form of self destruction and anyone can be free of it if they work on recovery.

I know it may sound like I'm judging (and maybe I am), but I have found these drives for awareness to actually worsen the confusion and be quite damaging.

It's been AT LEAST a year and a half since I last self harmed. I don't keep track so it's likely much longer. And I'm not white knuckling through it. I really really have no interest or desire in doing that to myself. I am officially free of self harm; I'd love an ole medal or something but I guess I'll make do with self-praise and self-credit!

Some important things to know about self harm:

• It is not an act of self love.
• It's often an expression of self hatred.
• It's often done in an attempt to control emotions.
• It's not (always) about seeking attention, though if someone does this to themselves then something is not right and that person needs help.
• Calling this behaviour 'attention seeking' is unhelpful.
• It can be a physical response to emotional pain.
• There are many 'forms' of self injurious behaviour.
• It's not always visible.
• It's not always shocking.
• It's not always on arms, or wrists.
• You'd be surprised what clothes can hide.
• It doesn't always leave scars.
• It's often an incredibly private and shameful thing, and the majority don't put photos on the internet.
• It affects people from all walks of life. 
• It doesn't matter how intelligent the person is.
• Most injuries don't require medical attention.
• Most injuries don't require stitches.
• It doesn't make you cool or mysterious.
• Sometimes it's done when a person feels numb, and afterwards the pain is intolerable.
• Just because someone doesn't talk about it doesn't mean it's not a big problem.
• Just because it's not 'as bad' as stuff on the internet doesn't mean it's not plenty terrible.
• No matter the reason, a person who has high self esteem and loves themselves would never dream of hurting themselves.
• The person can feel short term relief but then feel even worse after the act.
• Not everyone who hurts themselves has a personality disorder.
• Yes, the very rare few can use this behaviour to manipulate a situation- but this is rare. And this is also not unique to people who struggle with self harm.
• It can co-exist with eating disorders or other types of emotional distress.
• It's not about what the person does to hurt themselves- it matters that they're hurting themselves full stop.
• It's not only teenagers that do this.
• Men do it too.
• Many people can go months or years without telling a soul out of fear and shame. 
• It's not glamorous. 
• It's important not feed into the romanticised descriptions of self harm as it is anything but romantic. 
• It can tear families apart and damage relationships.
• Shame can lead a person to isolate and withdraw.
• When people get better they often feel sadness about it and regret the damage done.

And more important things to know:

• It can be overcome!
• It can and does get better.
• It's incredibly hard for family members, loved ones and carers to witness self harm and they often feel powerless. They need our support and love too!
• Full recovery from self injury is possible and happens all the time.
• It's never too late to work on getting free of this.

I think the take home point is that all emotional distress and pain is not visible on the outside, and the physical expression of this pain is not always relative to the amount of internal pain and sickness.

Just because some doesn't spend every evening in A+E getting stitched up, doesn't mean they are not in desperate emotional pain. 

It doesn't matter how 'minor' self harm may seem. It's never ever ever EVER ok to harm yourself in any way. 

And you deserve to work on recovery from this and to be free.

Forget about what you see on the internet. 

Forget about what everyone else is doing.

If you are hurting on the inside then YOU DESERVE to work on this, and get yourself to a place of self love and freedom.

Sunday Suggestion

The beginning of March has arrived and tomorrow begins a brand new week. 
New starts can be a great opportunity to look ahead and set ourselves up with the potential of more spring in our step.

Sometimes Sundays can be tricky days, particularly if the week ahead is daunting; back to the grind of work, early mornings, trying to figure out what we're going to do or what we have to face, how we're going to deal with another batch of days to get through...

But Sundays can also give us a chance to take time to support ourselves and gain strength for that path we embark on from Monday to the following Sunday.

I remember coming across the topic of self support in a care-work session and finding it quite intriguing but at the same time, almost foreign. It would never have really crossed my mind before, I've always been pretty proficient in being hard on myself - 'support myself? But... I hate myself.' 

I now love the idea and practice it as much as I feel I need to. Self support is basically what it says on the tin; supporting yourself.

You can be there for yourself. You can help yourself and support yourself in overcoming challenges and rising above negativity. You can cheer yourself on and applaud when you do well. You can give yourself credit where credit is due.

It might not come naturally though, at first.

I know for me, I was so used to berating myself, entertaining a relentless barrage of self punishment and feeling like I was actually the enemy that self support was the furthest thing from mind. 

But when you think about it, it just doesn't make sense to be constantly fighting against yourself, being in your own way and preventing yourself from feeling truly supported and ok in your life.

Imagine if you were to turn that around and start being your own support. 
Imagine if you were to pick yourself up when you're down instead of pushing yourself down further.

Changing our self talk takes practice, and patience - something that can be hard to channel, but so worth it in the end. Your mind's voice is the running commentary to your life - are you cheering or jeering yourself?

My suggestion this Sunday is to start to support yourself.

Look at the week ahead and prepare yourself. How can you ensure that you get the most out of this week? Or even get a few positives along the way? 
What do you want out of this week and how can you assist yourself in achieving it?

Self Support tips;

- Kind self talk - think of how you would speak to someone you love and internalise it.
- Say STOP to negative thinking - just shut it right up. 
- Listen to your needs - sleep, nourishment, rest, space, time out - get what you need.
- Apply self care - do things that make you feel good.
- Look for the good in each moment - you can see a dandelion as either a wish or a weed, it's all about what you choose to see.
- Allow compassion for yourself - you are doing your best, learn from mistakes and don't fear making them.
- Take challenges one at a time - your world can be as overwhelming as you want, or you can segment it into manageable little pieces and chip away one at a time.
- Give yourself time - play for time where you need to and give yourself space. 
- Give yourself credit - this is so important, don't play any of your accomplishments down.  If something was testing, then achieving it was damn admirable. Say 'Well done' to yourself and keep saying it until you feel genuinely proud.

I think a good thing to remember in self support is how you would treat others. When other people are trying their best you wouldn't tell them 'it's still not enough', so why say it to yourself?

ENCOURAGE YOURSELF