What’s even going on? The importance in gaining clarity in life
Whatever way we choose to phrase it; finding our feet,
figuring it all out or just plain trying to grow up, certain periods of our
lives can be times of constant learning. There are often more questions
than answers, more options than decisions and more things up in the air
than within our grasp.
Relationships, careers, and our dreams for the future
are all left to hover around us like unfinished sentences, beginning with
enthusiasm but trailing off when reality rudely interrupts. It’s like we
know how we’re supposed to start but we’re not sure which words come next.
It’s not exactly a period in our lives where we’ve ironed out all the kinks
and our plans are crystal clear. We may not even be fully settled within
ourselves, so how are we supposed to be establishing our place in this
Half sentences and cluttered minds leave little room for
clarity. In the last year or so the idea of clarity is one I’ve really
begun to value. I’ve realised that I just don’t like not knowing what’s
going on in my life, where I stand and why I’m doing what I’m doing. I get
that I may sound like a control freak right there, but really it’s just
because I spent a lot of time not caring or being able to see any potential
in my life, so now, I want to be spending my time where it’s worth spending
and working towards goals that I have a clear idea of. And if I’m unsure
about these, I want to make sure I’m en route to an answer.
I liked a definition that I read that defined clarity as
‘freedom from ambiguity’. Ambiguity has it’s positives of course, I’m not
saying not to leave space for a little mystery in our lives, but there’s
places where it can just keep us off track and in a mental muddle. If our
paths are surrounded by vague plans and half-hearted commitments, how are
we going to get where we want to be?
If you don’t know what you’re chasing, how will you ever
Say what you mean and mean what you say
Be clear in the messages you’re putting out and practice
clarity right from your own mouth. It’s frustrating enough trying to filter
out the nonsense in society’s false promises and mixed messages so there’s
no necessity to add to it. Commit to what you say, follow through on
promises and don’t lead people on. It’s natural sometimes to want to say
what people want to hear, or to want to talk ourselves up.
But why not just simplify it and cut out the crap. If
you mean what you’re going to say, then I want to hear it. Otherwise, don’t
waste your breath and our time. Likewise, try not to talk in circles to
avoid getting to the crux of an issue, say what you mean and people will
know what you mean. Confusion in communication can create all sorts of
Following from the above, real pure honesty will lead to clarity.
This is mainly about being honesty with yourself. You’ve got to know when
to call yourself out on your own rubbish. You can hear your own excuses
and the lies you tell yourself and you can either ignore them or
translate them into truth. But think about it, if someone keeps lying to
you, how hard is it to get to know who they really are?
Getting an articulate awareness of your life will
begin with figuring yourself out and you can’t do that without being
honest about what you truly want – from yourself, from relationships,
from friendships, from jobs, from basically everything in your life. A
bit of inward insight can turn your outlook around and open your eyes
wide to your own potential plans.
The thing I found about gaining clarity was that it
begins with a lot of questions. I’m still seeking plenty of those answers
but at least I have a direction that I’m looking in. Ask yourself those
questions that you might be avoiding. You know, those ones that could
trigger change that you may feel unprepared for? Such as… Do I even like this
course? Why am I doing this? Do I love them? Am I just afraid? Do I
actually really want this?
When you have raised a few questions, start to break
them down further and further. Get specific, almost interrogating the
initial question. Going from ‘what am I doing’ to ‘what would I like to be
doing’ and the all important ‘why?’ unleashes a whole new barrage of
bewilderment. But I swear, that’s a fantastic start. This is where your direction
will begin to take a more defined shape.
To get a clear picture of your life is like throwing
those questions as paint on a canvas. Splatter them across your mind,
adding more and more depth and colour. It’ll most likely be a mess at first
but every single wayward splash of paint is still creating something.
Put yourself out there:
This is where everything culminates. When you get to
really know yourself, you start to have your own back. Putting yourself out
there gets things done. It clears uncertainty up and shows that you’re
unambiguous about what you want. You believe in what you’re saying, doing
For me, gaining clarity remains a work in progress and
it always will because life simply isn’t clear cut. But having elements of
clarity and knowing that it’s important to me helps me to speak up when I
need answers and gain perspective where it’s lacking.
Clarity is the difference between a heavy fog and a
cloudless sky, I don't need to understand the weather to know I can find my
way easier when the fog clears.
It feels like time for an oul update! I've been quiet on social media over the last three weeks as my phone has been broken and I've been unable to post really. I've finally surrendered to the fact that the phone repair shop will not be open for the foreseeable future, and bought a new phone so hopefully when that arrives I'll be back to more regular posting on Instagram and Facebook. Being without a phone is an interesting experience nowadays, it can seem like such an extension of our being at times, that going without would appear undesirable - really though, it hasn't been too inconvenient, in fact it frees up time for reading or doing other things and affords me the opportunity to be more mindful throughout the day. It can feel disconnecting though, I've missed its communicative function, and I think that's worth noting, that there is a balance to cultivate with our phones. While they do serve so many purposes, some are more worthy of our time than others…
Finding our way in life can be quite a journey. It's this vastly beautiful, exciting and challenging thing that we get one chance at. And figuring out what to do with our unique experience of it, is an undertaking that can lead us to many places, doing a variety of things and learning a wealth of lessons.
I'm extremely lucky to never have had to deal with death or grief much until this past year or so. Oddly enough this coincides with the time period where I've been most alive myself, experiencing freedom, travel and a zest of life that has been dormant in the past. Where once I struggled so much to embrace living, there is now a depth of gratitude, appreciation and wonder at how amazing life can be. I've realised the way I love to live - what I love doing, seeing and being part of, how I like to be, how I most enjoy spending my time, the ways I can recharge, feel good and self care. I've learned who I am and what my dreams are. I've awoken to the possibilities …
Get out Of the confines of the fault finding mindGet outInto the world where the sun still shines and we canbecome more inclined towards its positive lightStep outfrom the belligerent beliefs that only serve to feedA nitpicking narrativeA cocoon of contempt. Is it that bad? Is the world actually out to get us? Do our peers exist solely to sneer and stand hand on gavelReady to pass judgement on our every move?To render us unstable within our own self worthBurying our esteem under the hardened ground of shitty self talkcomposting and fertilising a poisonous seed of self image that needs uprooting. Get out Of the view that's there's something bad about you.Because you -You are the unbelievable seed of incredible,of significant, of a strong and sacred life.You have immeasurable capacity to grow and thriveAnd that might sound exuberant, I get it, I didn't believe it either. I didn't realiseBut free now from that mindset, I've come completely alive. See, maybe we're mis…