Why do we often find it difficult to ask for help ? Do we feel like it undermines our ability to cope? Is it our pride ? Fear of rejection? Not wanting to put people out or be a burden? Isolating ourselves? Feeling it is a sign of weakness and offering yourself up as being vulnerable? Most people can probably relate to some of these statements at one stage or another.
A lot of the time when we suffer with low self esteem, depressive feelings or any other mental turmoil we are often reluctant to accept or even ask for help. We often want to help everyone else except ourselves and love when other people ask us for help, it makes you feel good- so why cant the favour be returned? It is in a way hypocritical to help others but refuse to accept help off them in return don't you think?So legalising accepting help is the key.
To overcome these thought patterns we must first learn to change how we think.
Some ideas that could help is to remind yourself:
- You don't burden someone when you ask them for help
- A problem shared is a problem halved
- You are worthy of help
- By denying to receive help we are in fact denying people the chance to be kind and giving. So when
you think about it- by allowing someone to help, you are in return helping them.
- You wouldnt turn someone else away or say they are unworthy of a helping hand would you? So apply it to yourself.
- Next time somebody offers to help (even the simplest of things) - learn to say yes and accept the help.
Accepting help does not always mean verbally saying you need help. It could be as simple as meeting a friend and just 'being' with them - going for a coffee , a walk or just a change of environment in general. This in itself can be the help someone needs. A sense of human connection.
One of the main things to remember is not to push people away. By doing this you are isolating yourself and creating an invisible barrier between yourself and the world that disconnects you from relationships with others and magnifies a sense of loneliness.
When in need, reach out! You will find others are only too happy to help in whatever way they can.
Dare To Live SOS