How often do you feel that your neighbour, your friend, a loved one or simply the stranger on the street (whom in fact you know nothing about) is, in some way, shape or form, better than you? How often do you feel less than because someone else appears to be more successful or generally more apt at this whole thing called life? Well guess what? It's called comparing and as Theodore Roosevelt once wisely and very simply said, "comparison is the thief of joy."
The ironically funny yet superbly liberating thing to understand about living in a world with billions of other individuals is that we, just like each other, are all completely unique. Just like each other none of us are the same and trying to compete with others is a truly pointless exercise that ultimately blinds us to all the good that lies within and around us. In focusing on others and how we think their lives must be we essentially turn our back on all the good in our own and how great ours actually are.. if only we'd open our eyes to it.
So how can you learn to appreciate your own uniqueness and get more joy back into your life? Well here are a few tips to get you started..
Firstly ask yourself: Am I really that special that everyone can be better than me? Trust me, you're really so precious, more precious than you might realise right now and your worth is immeasurable but none of us are that special to think we could be worth so little as to hand our joy over to another because we think they are better.
Look at all that you DO have and DO do and stop focusing on what you don't have and do. There will always be someone better off and someone worse off than you but in really being grateful for all that is in your life you can unlock a huge part of self-happiness.
Write a gratitude list and include all the little things that make your life your own. From the tiniest and seemingly insignificant moment can come a whirlwind of happiness if only we'd stop to appreciate it for all it's worth.
Start writing down the compliments others give you. You'll see the same ones come up again and again and when you can allow yourself learn to trust those nice things you can then appreciate within yourself what others love about you! believe me the say these things for good reason!
A fun way to think about is perhaps to change your mental diet. And by that I mean become aware of what you tell yourself, start thinking about what your surround yourself with and whom you spend most of your time with. If you find yourself watching TV shows that inevitably speak negatively to you or constantly read magazines that promote unhealthy ideals and seemingly perfect lives then perhaps it's time to do a little mental spring cleaning. It's not about cutting people out of your life or never stepping into a newsagents again but rather about becoming aware of the things you allow enter your brain. The most important thing to remember in this tip is that the thoughts we think run our lives and so learning to become the master of our thoughts is crucial to a life of freed and joy. Everything comes from a thought and so from today on just open your mind to more loving and caring thoughts and you'll be utterly amazed at what can and will happen!
Credit yourself more for what you do. It's funny how we are so quick to berate ourselves for the things we do "wrong". Yet funnily enough we can't understand how we might feel so down some of the times. Imagine if you forgot about what others are doing or achieving and stopped to think about all you've done and achieved in your life and the people you make happy by just being you! Again sitting down to actually write them out is a really helpful tool to refocus.
Be aware of social media and the possibly negative effect it may have on you. Just ask yourself, how does reading this or looking through your friends "amazing" lives on Facebook make you feel about yourself and then act accordingly to what you know to be true for you. I got off Facebook for over a year and quiet enjoyed not knowing or seeing. Different stages in our lives call for different measures but first you need to ask yourself what it is you need now!
And lastly, remember that nobody in the world can be you as well as you do it!!!
So they are just a few little tips to practice and begin including in your life to create a sense of belonging within, a sense that comparing can never give!
Dare To Live SOS